Guys just want to share with you this … makaka relate kayo… binago ko po ang mga pangalan for privacy reason kung may kahalintulad ibig pong... sabihin nito isa kang miembro ng Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi (Pseudo Relationship Story)
She is a 24-year old call center agent in Ortigas. He is an architect.
They met and became lovers in few months. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends".
They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay.They don't see anyone else.
It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation,
she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark.========================================================================
She works in a telecom industry. He is reviewing for the board.
They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am.
He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion.
Their friends are suspecting something.
Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman?
Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?They work together in an advertising agency in Makati.
After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Greenbelt.
She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.
They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.
He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then.
But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him.
And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. She is a 20-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor.
Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs.
After a few dates in Tagaytay and Contis Restaurants in the Fort,
he brings her to his condo where they would make out.
They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. Almost like a relationship, but not quite.
It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala.
One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi.
You just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons.
It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason.
And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl or dun sa guy
(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa),
wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "HINDI NAMAN KAYO." This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be FUN.
Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "KALARO."So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?
Iba't ibang dahilan.For those who are not in a serious relationship,
they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all.
No commitments involved.
For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling.
Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko.
Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message.
Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real.
And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.
Yap the girls are always lugi.Una,
you can't ask him to commit.
Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. You will always be uncertain about your role in his life.
You can't expect him to be always there with you.
And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.Pangalawa,
what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way.
Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.
Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.
Or if there is a relationship at all.Pangatlo,
what if you become attached too much?
What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting.
When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold,
then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship,
hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship.
Wala kang pinanghahawakan.Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo.
Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain.
And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship,
hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun.
And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling,
without thinking of the consequences.But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mong mamili.
You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next.
Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.almost, but not quite… … . .
The reason why MU exists because each party is full of fear and apprehensions. Each one is afraid to deal with the truth. Each one thinks that if one asks the other one about the real score, it might return unfavorable answer. Once and for all you gotta face the truth. It will put one into solid footing. Hindi yung alanganin na parang kayo parang hindi. It will build confidence and maturity too. If one gets rejection it will make him more mature enough not to repeat this kind of game, whereas if he gets a nod then it makes him confident and happier. Therefore I would suggest, take the courage to ask and put things in its proper place. Pero advice lang choose the perfect timing, wag yung mainit ang ulo. Simple lang, tayo ba o hindi? Makes life easier.
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